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Our close companions with a woman, who has overcome numerous obstacles, which I admire. Yet, she has been constantly blindsided by others. Her husband left her, and it was a huge shock. A lot of her social circle vanished at that point, since they had been only interested in him. This surprised her deeply. She put in increased attention to be my friend, likely grasped more clearly the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

In the time since, several of her friends have drifted apart leaving her certain of the reason. The company she worked for turned on her, despite the fact that she had been very skilled at her work, and she left not understanding the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Recently, we've both retired leading to more time together, however, I feel my position between us is to listen. I introduce subjects but she shifts them to her own topics. Regarding political views, she has firm beliefs. I try to propose factchecking or other angles.

She's been planning a trip to a country I've visited on several occasions and resided in previously. I tried to share insights, but this was met with resistance. She really just desired validation of her choices. I recently ended a month in that place she hopes to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to be a friend that walks away without a word, but I don't think she can grasp the effect of her actions on how I feel about myself. Currently, I am in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Ways Forward

One option is to walk away, yet this is seldom the easy answer we hope for. But confrontation with a view to working things out requires bravery and willingness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step is to state the usual pattern during your discussions. This needs to be based on facts and essentially an unbiased account. Step two involves sharing how this affects you emotionally. There should be no dispute here. What you feel are valid, naturally. Step three is to question ways you together going to change the interaction between you."

Consider that she also has her own side, thus requiring you to be prepared to listen to her. A helpful technique is telling to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts while I will remain silent for half an hour."

This can be successful in fostering understanding.

Final Thoughts

She could ignore your concerns, since certain individuals have a deep-seated story: they rely on a story of their life they cannot let go of because their very survival is tied to it and it represents they've known. It's tough when there seems no thoroughfare here, only cul-de-sacs. But she may at first react like this then consider your perspective. And even if you don't achieve a fix, it provides satisfaction that you've been truthful.